Bob Rorke

CaregiverCo-Survivor

Survivor: His wife, Becky

I was deployed to Kosovo with my National Guard unit in November 2003. My wife provided amazing support for me during my deployment. We cried when I left. We celebrated when I returned. We had an old normal before I left. We had a new normal after I returned.

Less than five months after I returned, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. We cried when she was diagnosed. We will celebrate when her “cancer deployment” ends. We will have another new normal when the treatment ends.

We just celebrated during the Race for the Cure® last weekend. We celebrated being halfway through with chemo. We celebrated the love and support of family and friends.

I’ve learned to hold her hand and listen. I remember worrying about what the scars would look like. I remember worrying about what her bald head would look like. I’ve learned that little things like that don’t really matter. What matters is she’s beautiful and I love her. It’s that simple. I can’t fix it or solve it. I’m learning that there are certain things I can control and certain things I can’t.

I still cry. I cried at the Race for the Cure®. But I can control how much I love my wife. She supported me when I was 6,000 miles away. I can easily support her during her deployment. It’s all about holding her hand and listening and thinking long-term