Ideas from people who have been there
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Julianne, survivor
Doctors don't always mention that things like massages, spa treatments and nutritional supplements can make treatment easier to handle. For instance, I was told that Aloe Vera juice can help with nausea. I heard too late to help myself, but I plan to give that advice in the future. You can help your family and friends going through treatment with information, gift certificates or just encouragement to do things like that for themselves.
Mary Jo, co-survivor
A co-worker's wife has been combating cancer for the last two years. In an attempt to help the family, I decided to cook a meal for them. One act of reaching out with a single meal has turned into meals several times a month. This family has been so grateful and my heart has been so full to know that I have been able to do a little something to help.
Julianne, survivor
Women who develop breast cancer in their thirties face different circumstances than older patients do. Dealing with premature menopause, hormonal issues and the idea that I may never be able to have children made me feel like I was standing by watching while everyone around me made plans for the future. You can help people in this situation by recognizing they are struggling with a lot of other issues in addition to the cancer itself.
Irene, co-survivor
When my daughter finished chemotherapy, I wanted to celebrate the occasion. I asked every friend, and friend of a friend, to send a funny, uplifting card that would reach her on her last day of treatment. My goal was 100 cards. She actually received over 200! Although several cards started trickling in prior to her last treatment, the majority came on that last day. She was so surprised and enjoyed the support, encouragement & prayers.
Loma, survivor
Breast cancer survivors should help those starting out on the journey. Communication and support is essential for the newly diagnosed. When you have been there, you can sometimes offer advice that a doctor can't, like about what to do when you start losing your hair, and about the importance of diet and exercise, believing in God and reaching out to others for support. You can help new patients realize they're not alone in this fight.
Peggy, co-survivor
My sister, Theresa Ciabattoni, has been fighting breast cancer for 15 years. In honor of her, I asked our company CFO if we could participate in Lee National Denim Day®. My family continues to fight and pray that a cure will be found so that my sister, as well as many other people, can be saved and spared from this awful disease. The support from my coworkers was very moving and so greatly appreciated!
Pete, co-survivor
My wife and I have been on our journey now for 5½ years. Reflecting on the journey, I realize there are several phases to it. Initially there is a flurry of activity. The victim gets lots of support from medical staff, family and friends. As the activity lessens, so does the attention and support for her. As her husband, it's my role to be sure that I always "remember" because I realize she'll never forget.
Jenni, co-survivor
When my mom was diagnosed and had to be scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy, I recruited friends and family to help me put together a scrapbook of cards, prayers, well-wishes, jokes - anything to brighten her day. I gave it to her in the hospital and now she has it at home to help her through tough days as she recovers. Contributions keep flowing in - I may even have to get her a new book!
Sandi, co-survivor
When my close friend was diagnosed again after five years, I gathered all of our co-workers and we went to her house to turn her small backyard into a healing garden. We all pulled together and planted flowers, and added a birdbath and wind chimes. We gave her a reason to go out and enjoy looking at the birds and flowers.
Malu, co-survivor
When I learn a friend or family member has cancer, I first find out who knows, then send those people a square of white cotton fabric and ask them to sign it in permanent marker. I use the squares to whip together a quilt to surround the patient with love, literally. If others quilt, it is a wonderful group exercise.
Jeanne, co-survivor
Our woman's club wanted to help bring comfort to cancer patients, so we started making Breast Cancer Comfort Pillows. Women can use the colorful, cotton 8"X12" pillows and 9"X13" pillowcases anytime their breast is sore. They can put the pillows between the seatbelt and their breast in the car, or use them for extra support when lying on their side. So far, we've made about 350 pillows, which are free to any breast cancer patient.
Kelly, co-survivor
When my aunt was diagnosed, family throughout the country wanted to do something special for her. We mailed a sheet to each family member and everyone added their handprints in paint to the sheet, along with a short message and their name. After everyone had added their handprints, one person made the sheet into a quilt. Our hands showed her we cared, were thinking of her, and were pulling for her to get through treatment.
Julie, survivor
When I went through breast cancer this past year, just a simple card being sent to me would really brighten my day. When I was having a bad day and did not feel great, I could pull my cards out and they would bring a smile to my day.
Jeanie, co-survivor
I am a very practical person and thought I could help my friend going through surgery and chemo by cataloguing all the kind notes and gifts of food and other goodies that she received. I created a whole index card system of names and addresses with gift/thoughtfulness noted on each card and then created all the thank you notes for her to sign and send.
Phillip, co-survivor
My advice is to be a good listener and resist the urge to solve everything. So many breast cancer questions do not have answers, so just letting my wife talk out her feelings or fears helped her.
Janet, survivor
I went to visit my college-age son in Los Angeles a week after donning my wig, when I still felt very self-conscious in it. One of his neighbors, who was a top Hollywood stylist for the stars, warmly hugged me when she met me and later quietly offered to thin and style the wig for me while I toured a museum the next day in my scarf. It looked fantastic when she was done - and is the closest I will ever come to looking like a movie star!
Robert, co-survivor
My partner and I were lucky to have health insurance when she was diagnosed. I took over managing the bills and insurance papers so she didn't have to see everything and worry. Not having to deal with that stress allowed her more time to relax, catch a nap, talk with the kids, or do something else to help refresh.
Do you have an idea or suggestion to help someone become a more effective co-survivor? Email us your tip*, in 75 words or less; please put "Co-survivor Tip" in the subject line.
*Susan G. Komen for the Cure reserves the right to edit or format submissions for any reason and to remove or decline to post any submissions.
